24th February

I begin the way all ramblers begin - that is, with Gaaah. Re Sa. This is what is known among my current brethren as a rantpost. But I'm not very sure if it is, so keep an open mind. I do not have the faintest idea what this might lead to.

People around me are driving me nuts. Or perhaps, it would be better to say that I am driving me nuts, by means of the machinations of other people's minds, precisely because I do not know what they are. I spend copious amounts of time and brain matter exploring minds that I have no access to. This is most distressing.

My life right now is like a giant jumbled-up jigsaw puzzle. With the pictures on the surface peeling off. I have dreadfully adorable friends whom I am sometimes on the verge of guillotining with my temper. Then I come right back and crush them with my love. Some of them have understood this, and are my friends for all time to come. Some have not, and have faded out of my life. Some are still under trial, but if they fail, I will have no regrets, because while we were friends, it was beautiful.

Ahona is a sweet curly-headed fool. Her brain goes tick-tock all the time. She is as neurotic as I; we're soul sisters. We exhale paranoia and cigarette smoke from our nostrils like depressed dragons over cups of du taka'r steaming lebu cha - usually in the lobby.

I am confused about men. This is most perplexing. The whole thing about I like you-i don't think you like me -i'm sure you don't like me -he likes me -he, on the other hand, used to like me, i think-i liked him back then, but i lied!-i am so stupid - no, he is so stupid-hoshit. Unfortunately, none of these individuals is reading this, or probably ever will. If they had, it might have lessened the confusion.

I can't think of anything else.